Plays of the future

What now for the stage? Well, theatre remains a vital medium, but how best to bring it to the masses? We re-imagine various plays to make them relevant to our current times:

The Romans in Britain:
Special performance of this controversial play, now set in the world of Asterix, with a nude Getafix getting bummed viciously by several Legionaries called Gingivitus, Hepatitus and Detritus, before hanging himself in shame. Ends in a frankly bizarre banquet where Asterix and Obelix are somehow conflated into the IRA.

Much Ado About Nothing:
A gritty imagining of the Shakespearean play, where Leonato murders his daughter Hero in order to preserve the family honour, and the police refuse to investigate further in deference to cultural sensitivities.

The Woman in Slightly Chalky Grey:
The ghost play returns, this time after an accident with a washing machine and too much bleach.

'Tis Pity She's A Whore:
Annabella sells her story to Take A Break and subsequently appears on Jeremy Kyle.

The Children's Hour:
Two women teachers are slurred on Facebook by vindictive teenagers until one of them becomes 'An Hero' and various sociopaths mock her death with various unamusing memes and Photoshop montages.

On the Waterfront:
Where no strikes happen at all on the docks as they use containers nowadays and anyway all the dockers were laid off in 1994, with limited media coverage.